If only I knew your love would be unkind,
My unwary heart wouldn’t break in pieces.
But your closeness always rendered me blind,
With each step my tragedy increases.

You punish me for one foolish mistake,
This merciless disdain cuts like a knife.
How it burns to watch you easily forsake
All my love, my years, my wasted life.

The train is leaving, taking me from here.
With every traveled mile, my chains loosen more,
Our three-act play is finally over, dear.

I woke up this morning, first time without a fear,
Without a prospect to be called a whore,
With this knowledge I will not disappear.

This sonnet is another first for me. Inspired by dVerse, I spent last hour reading about sonnets, strict rhyme schemes, octave, sestet, volta, iambic pentameter… These prompts really push me to seek new knowledge and to explore poetry in a sense I never did before. You think it’s all about translating emotions into verses, but then you discover a world of complicated forms and styles that still demand emotion at the central stage. It is a very challenging balance act and I can’t believe I enjoy it this much.

49 thoughts on “Persuasion

  1. That was beautiful and heart touching. I was surprised that there are so many different forms of poetry – many so complicated. I thought poetry was putting feelings to words to rhymes. I suppose that will always be poetry to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. what a relief there in the end..i am sad that many have to live in the fear of one little mistake sending their spouse or significant other into such a rage…and the abuse…its stomach turning to think about…but i am glad for those that find such freedom…and can awake in peace…

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  3. this touches my heart…. I think of everyone–men and women–in abusive relationships… and it’s sad just how many think so low of themselves that they stay in such conditions; I don’t blame them, per say, I look at what they have seen/felt in their pasts. I am glad the person realized their worth in the end.

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  4. I am re-awkening to to the different forms of poetry. Isn’t like a whole new box of toys to go through and new books to explore and paints to use? I was so glad at the resolution of this poem. You did a most excellent job and gave us a good story as well.

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  5. Well, I am glad she left on the train. It truly sounds like the best alternative. I am sure more and more she will enjoy waking up without fear. Well done. You really achieved the use of a volta, I think.

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  6. Excellent sonnet. The tone and language appropriate throughout; nothing feels forced; the tenet of the poem well set and the volta falls in the last sextet and strengthened in the last 3 lines. Beautiful poem, expertly written, I would say you conquered this form and wasn’t it fun? These get easier the more you write, and you start to look forward to writing them. It still surprises me

    Liked by 1 person

    • It surprised me how much I enjoyed this. I think we don’t really think of ourselves as capable to produce something like that, but that’s mostly because we never tried it before. So, once you successfully do it, it feels as a great accomplishment. Thank you for your constructive comment, much appreciated.


  7. First attempt? Excellent effort – I too was suprised by how much I enjoyed sonnets (although I haven’t had time for one for this prompt). Ironic really that you use a fixed form to describe an escape from the shackles…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The tense struggle of an ending relationship can make one feel like they’re drowning. It’s amazing how freeing that first breath apart from an estranged former lover can be. Your turn in the last two lines really pops.

    Liked by 1 person

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