Today’s Daily Prompt is Fictional Intruder: “Go down the rabbit hole with Alice; play quidditch with Harry Potter; float down the river with Huck Finn… If you could choose three fictional events or adventures to experience yourself, what would they be?”
I took a slightly different approach and instead of picking up three fictional events, I picked up three fictional characters and went on an adventure with them.
“Hey, you!”, I hear a strange voice calling behind me. If you knew me, you would know I don’t turn around when men yell after me, whistle or try any other lame approach to get my attention. You simply don’t do that. Not if you know me.
“Hey lady, I am talking to you. Don’t pretend you didn’t hear me.” So, we have a combination of brave and stupid here. If I am honest, not one of my favorites. Stupid people give me no thrill, they rank below bugs on my radar, something squishy that stucks to the soles of my shoes. On the other hand, bugs I like.
“Psssst, psssst, lady…please, can you help us?” I give up and turn around. There’s no one there. I start to turn back, when a movement behind the dumpster catches my attention.
I am not worried, for my looks can be deceiving. And if things turn for the worse, I bet no one suspects me carrying a sword stick. This old cane is my prized possession, ever since sensei gave it to me 73 years ago.
“Ok, you have my attention, so will you be so kind and show yourself to me?”, I call out.
Now, I am not easily surprised, considering where and when I’ve been so far. But I was not expecting to see Batman, Rapunzel and Pipi Longstocking. And I was certainly not expecting them to be half my size. They stand before me, like the little merry band of kids in their favorite Halloween costumes.
“Are you real?”, is all I can choke out in utter amazement.
“Of course we are real, what do you think, early dementia hit you and you are hallucinating?”, Pipi Longstocking spat out. “We need your help, old bat.”
Batman looking a little bit offended, says: “Come on now, no need to call names. Bats are underrated as it is.”
Rapunzel rolls her eyes and sighs: “You two are at each others throats since we fallen out of the box. Can you please stop? I swear I am this-close to strangling you both.”
“Oy, oy…kids. Enough. If you want this old bat’s help, zip it. I’ll ask questions and I want to hear one answer at the time. Got it?”, I tower over them, using my best grandma voice. They just look up at me and nod.
“Ok, where the hell did you come from? And what do you mean you fell out of the box? And how come you three are together?”
“Not to be a smart-ass, but you just asked three questions.”, Rapunzel says with a little smirk, that I want to erase so bad. “Now, listen to me, you little…”
“No, no, she was just kidding. Let me explain.” Batman interjects quickly, moving to stand between us. I nod, keeping one eye on the little brat. “First of all, you know how we are supposed to be only in books, comics and movies? Well actually, that is not entirely true. There is this other dimension, you know, like a fantasy land and we are all stuck in there. Me, Superman, Spidey, those awful Avengers, these chicks, and don’t let me start on those seven dwarfs. Gandalf and his crew act like some kind of lords, treating us like we don’t have superpowers…Ok, I don’t. But my gadgets are cool, too. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I ran with these two in our latest elections for the Parliament, but there was some kind of wishy-washy with our financial reports, so we had to lay low for a while.”
“Wait, wait. You have a Parliament?”
“Seriously, of all the things I just said you picked on that? Yes, we have a Parliament, we thought it was a good idea. Actually, Shrek was the one pushing all that stuff, he is way into politics. Like he had a chance. First green Prime President, come on.”, Batman sardonically says, picking up some glitter from his cape. “As I was saying, we had to lay low, but that bloody traitor Harry Potter was on our trail. Imagine that, “The boy who lived” was not enough, he just had to become the most successful head hunter in the realm. He was closing on us and we had no way out, when all of a sudden I spotted Tardis. We jumped in, but of course that bastard of a doctor wouldn’t have anything with us, so he kicked us out. It seems we hit some kind of a space-time continuum distortion and lo and behold, ended up here.”
“So, you were running for the Prime President of the Fantasy Realm? Really?”
“That’s enough. I can’t stand this anymore.”, Pipi Longstocking shouts, throwing her hands in the air. “It’s not enough that he just called us chicks, the idea of him being the Prime President…Come on, if anyone had any chance, it was me. Rapunzel here was No.02 on my ticket and he was our campaign manager. No wonder our finances were wishy-washy. What was I thinking?”
“Now, now…I am equally to blame, it looked like a great idea at the time. Who knew he was such a looser?”, Rapunzel says, putting her arm around Pipi’s shoulders.
“I can hear you, just so you know. And I thought I would return money in time.”
I look at them and can’t help but smile at the plan that is forming in the back of my mind. “Come on, kids, no point in arguing. You, remove that silly bat mask and that glittery cape. Girls, you need to fix your hair, one goes up, one goes down. Chop, chop, we got to move, tomorrow is going to be a long day.”
“Where are we going?”
“I am hungry.”
“Why don’t my gadgets work around here?”
“Do you think Potter will follow us?
“Why is so dark here?”
“Oh, I see some kind of a billboard.”
“What does it say?”
“Barnum and Bailey Circus.”
“Hey lady, is that some kind of a hotel?”
“Yes, indeed. Come on kids, just follow me. Dinner is about to be served and we’ll find you some place to rest.”
“You know, for an old bat, you are not that bad.”
“Pipi, don’t start again…”
“What? I’m just saying. She is ok. Oh, look at that bearded lady! That’s hilarious!!!”
They run past me into a tent and I think of all the coins they will get me.
There’s a sucker born every minute.