Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – J Hardy Carroll
Years go by, yet the pain remains,
carved in her bones with a pocket knife;
if she could break them and re-set again,
I wonder if that would reshape her life.
Followed by a shadow of imminent demise,
her screams echo in a silent solitude.
Prisoner of past, present and future,
she is a singularity in the multitude.
I wonder about her from time to time.
Will she be able to run up the hill?
Can she find once more the reason to live?
Breathing… even if the time stands still.
You’ve used some powerful images in this enigmatic poem. The phrase “Prisoner of past, present and future,” makes her completely devoid of free-will. “carved in her bones with a pocket knife” is a strangely specific metaphor. Amaranthine – resembling an eternal flower. The only thing I could imagine that would work as a key to the verse is that you’re writing about Gaia, and the way her present and future are harmed and constrained by man’s activities. But I don’t think that’s right!
The pocketknife line is very good. It is a very dark poem, but the title and its reference to an unfading or undying flower gives me hope that this depression will stay only briefly and soon be overcome. I hope that she will spring back with the beauty of her namesake to enjoy life to its fullest!
Those are some beautiful and evocative lines about someone’s suffering. I loved this – prisoner of past, present and future – because in a sense we all are.
Sorry for missing your comment earlier. My favorite part of comments is to see what readers pick as their favorite lines, that means so much. Thank you, as always.
Never can pain be erased, it is etched into our souls. It is a burden that must be carried. Each hurt piled one upon the other until its weight it too much to endure. Thank you.
Snow's Fissures and Fractures 
I’ve no idea what this about, except a person in torment. But it’s beautifully written.
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Let’s call it an introspective and keep it a secret. 😉 Thank you, as always.
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What a beautiful, evocative poem! Really loved this!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Much appreciated, Susan.
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Beautifully written, and more so being enigmatic.
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Thank you, Iain.
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You’ve used some powerful images in this enigmatic poem. The phrase “Prisoner of past, present and future,” makes her completely devoid of free-will. “carved in her bones with a pocket knife” is a strangely specific metaphor. Amaranthine – resembling an eternal flower. The only thing I could imagine that would work as a key to the verse is that you’re writing about Gaia, and the way her present and future are harmed and constrained by man’s activities. But I don’t think that’s right!
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It is whatever you want it to be. 🙂 Once I release them, my words live in the minds of the reader. Thank you for your lovely comment.
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Very Kate Bush. LOVED it.
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I just realized that! “Running up that hill”….one of my favorite songs.
Thank you!
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Lovely writing
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Much appreciated.
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I love the pocketknife. Much more evocative than a sword or just “knife” would be.
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Thank you.
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The pocketknife line is very good. It is a very dark poem, but the title and its reference to an unfading or undying flower gives me hope that this depression will stay only briefly and soon be overcome. I hope that she will spring back with the beauty of her namesake to enjoy life to its fullest!
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That is such a lovely comment, thank you so much.
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I hope she can find a way through her pain.
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Me too.
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Those are some beautiful and evocative lines about someone’s suffering. I loved this – prisoner of past, present and future – because in a sense we all are.
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Yes, we are…even if we deny it. Thank you for stopping by.
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Dear Loré,
Lovely introspective piece. Leaves the reader with many questions. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle.
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other worldly, i have no clue but beautifully written.
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Thank you, quite a compliment.
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it looks like she lost someone. perhaps it’s time move on.
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Moving, even if it is a dance.
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you can feel the pain when you read this. great poem
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Glad you liked it, thank you!
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she is a singularity in the multitude This line can be interpreted two ways. Either she is lost in the crowd, or stands out. I like that.
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She IS, that is the key. Thank you!
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I like the way you said call it introspection – such a moody piece
nice writing
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Thank you!
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Well, Jill only came tumbling after. Jack was the one who wasn’t taking care of his head. Poor Jill.
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Beautifully written, intriguing, great piece of writing.
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Much appreciated!
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I thought of Kate Bush too. The knife made me think of self-harm.
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The knife was a metaphor, I was painting the picture of invisible but permanent mark the pain can leave deep inside. Hence the bones and the knife.
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Deep and emotional. Great take on the prompt
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Thank you!
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This is beautiful and painful, and very thought provoking. The ‘singularity in a multitude’ line stood out to me as well, just like Alicia said above.
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Sorry for missing your comment earlier. My favorite part of comments is to see what readers pick as their favorite lines, that means so much. Thank you, as always.
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No worries, that happens.
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Never can pain be erased, it is etched into our souls. It is a burden that must be carried. Each hurt piled one upon the other until its weight it too much to endure. Thank you.
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THANK you!
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Almost a prayer for her friend/sister. Sometimes it takes a lifetime for the wounds to heal. Sometimes, longer.
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Indeed.
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Alas … I see someone cutting themselves… too often that happens.
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I wasn’t aiming for that.
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Beautifully done. Does leave one with many questions, which is wonderful. It’s nice when the author leaves the reader to think,
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Thank you, Dale!
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Carved in her bones with a pocket knife…you can feel that!
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I hope not. 🙂
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