Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – What’s His Name
You stand there, looking at the shadows of a place we called home.
“Ok then…”
Standing at the doorway, I look at your back.
You throw a cigarette butt where I used to plant spring daffodils. Barely visible line of smoke vanishes in the air and I feel nothing. The empty ashtray on the floor of the barn taunts, nurturing my taste for irony.
Watching you drive away, I think about all the times you came into my bed, whispering “I am home.” … and me desperately wanting to whisper back – I am whole.
Just lovely. A little jewel!
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Thank you so much, Neil.
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Fabulous story – I read it several times to savour each line. Thank you.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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That is so kind, thank you.
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Dear Loré,
Beautifully written and poignant.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
You are too kind.
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Beautifully written, as always.
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Much appreciated, as always. 🙂
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Very beautifully written, Loré. You have a way with words…
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Thank you, Dale. Sometimes I feel as though the words have a way with me. 🙂
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An elegant piece. Well done.
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That is a lovely thing to say, Sandra.
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Sad and lovely too – gorgeous writing
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Thank you!
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My pleasure 🙂
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Poignant and beautifully melancholy. Well done.
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Much appreciated, Iain.
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Great job on the photo prompt. this weeks photo challenge could have brought forth many stories fit for the toilet, but this one isn’t one of them.
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That is very kind, thank you.
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I love the clever way you tell us about the relationship indirectly; “shadows of a place we called home,” and “I look at your back.”
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Glad you liked it!
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I agree with all this was beautifully written and deserves to be read over and over to fully appreciate it.
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Thank you so much!
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Daylight can certainly expose flaws.
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Indeed.
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That’s not a story, it’s poetry. Each word is so precise, and the mood so poignant. Brilliant.
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You are too kind.
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Lovely and well written.
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Thank you, Ali.
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You did it again – great story and sweet! Excellent!
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Thank you so much, Nan!
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Painfully delicious.
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Better than deliciously painful. 😀
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Telling so much with so few words. This is excellent.
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Glad you liked it.
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Beautiful and poignant. Life’s losses!
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And gains. 🙂
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👍
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Very nice.
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Thank you, Dawn.
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Beautifully written, Lore`. An abrupt end to a dream. —- Suzanne
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Thankful as ever, Suzanne.
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A lovely written end in a sad setting…
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Much appreciated, as always.
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