Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – J Hardy Carroll
The fire is gone. I see it now.
In the way you notice silver in my hair…
Or how your eyes glide over my weathered body…
“Fourteen years is not much of a difference” your eyes smiled back then. I smiled back at your youthfulness and let you play with my heart. I wonder if slow burn with someone closer to my age would hurt less than this wild fire we had.
You say you love me and I know you believe it…
But I see the truth in your eyes…
I lost before it ever started.
Ah, yes, I wonder about the relationships with a huge age difference – I’ve seen a few crumble as the years move on and lovers become carers. Wonderful stuff and a lovely choice of song too
You’ve written a poignant and beautiful story – I absolutely love it. You evoke both the flaws of now, and the wonder of then so that we can mourn with the narrator the passing of time, and exult with her in the joy she has experienced. Delightful, clever, sensitive writing!
So nice to have you back, Loré.. and with a most beautiful piece of writing.
I do know it can happen successfully though I fear most end up like your sweet woman…
“I lost before it even started” is such a lovely line and I’ve never thought about it – but you are absolutely so astute and shrewd when it comes to explaining a failed romance. Really, I am impressed!
Nice interpretation of the prompt.
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Thank you.
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Yes. The age gap matters, unless both are exemplary people.
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Exemplars are rarity.
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Really good take. I read it twice, it felt even more melancholy the second time.
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Twice? Thank you!
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Good to see you Lorie. 🙂 Interesting take with an apt soundtrack.
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Thank you!
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A nice take on the prompt.
DJ
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Thank you.
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The soundtrack went well with your well written story.
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Glad you liked it.
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Sad story indeed.
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If there was love even for a moment, can it really be a sad story? Tnx for stopping by.
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Love the metaphor this inspired in you. Sad and lovely.
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Much appreciated!
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Dear Loré,
So nice to see you here. Lovely and sad. So much story in few words. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It’s been a while, feels good to stretch my legs. 😀 Thank you!
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Well done with the music connection! ^_^
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What is life without music? Glad you liked it.
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A sad story made all the more poignant when accompanied by the late lamented Amy Winehouse.
Click to read my FriFic!
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She was one of a kind.
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My wife periodically dyes her hair, but not for me. I’m totally fine with the “silver fox” look.
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Nice.
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Every time I mention she doesn’t have to dye her hair she gives me “the look.” I don’t mention it anymore.
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That was fabulous – and knowing several couples with quite big age differences, I think this scenario is true in some cases.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Mostly when the woman is older. Years are not kind to us, neither is society.
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Ah, yes, I wonder about the relationships with a huge age difference – I’ve seen a few crumble as the years move on and lovers become carers. Wonderful stuff and a lovely choice of song too
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Thank you, Lynn!
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My pleasure 🙂
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You’ve written a poignant and beautiful story – I absolutely love it. You evoke both the flaws of now, and the wonder of then so that we can mourn with the narrator the passing of time, and exult with her in the joy she has experienced. Delightful, clever, sensitive writing!
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So many kind words, thank you so much!
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Such a sad story, very well told.
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Thank you.
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Excellent use of the prompt. Age is a sneak thief.
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Indeed it is. Thank you!
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Your take on the prompt was a nice surprise, a well told if bittersweet tale.
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Much appreciated.
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That slow burn is a gem of a line. Superb piece – loved the poignancy of it.
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Thank you, Sandra!
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It’s easy to say that age doesn’t matter, but in this ever speeding life it does. Nicely done.
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It shouldn’t and it should, age is a treacherous companion.
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Fourteen years – if the genders were reversed no-one would even comment.
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This is what my story is about, thank you for recognizing it.
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Romance has its season. It hurts when winter arrives and you watch the fire wane. Great interpretation of the image.
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Thank you, very kind words.
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A great take and beautifully executed.
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Thank you.
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It is almost like a poem…great take on the prompt.
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Glad you liked it, thank you.
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Poignantly real and fatalistically real!
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Very kind words, thank you.
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👍
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So nice to have you back, Loré.. and with a most beautiful piece of writing.
I do know it can happen successfully though I fear most end up like your sweet woman…
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Good to be back, Dale. Thank you!
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I love how you do this.
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Thank you!
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Nothing burns forever… but the glow of ember can warm you too.
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So true…
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“I lost before it even started” is such a lovely line and I’ve never thought about it – but you are absolutely so astute and shrewd when it comes to explaining a failed romance. Really, I am impressed!
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Oh, your words are too kind. Thank you, Nan!
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Beautiful!
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Much appreciated.
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It works for some but not others. Good story and writing, Lore`. —- Suzanne
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Thank you, Suzanne.
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