Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – J Hardy Carroll
This was my home. Never really liked it.
It was a splendid house, filled with gorgeous people surrounded by beautiful things…With shadows lurking in dark corners.
Unwanted hands grabbing whatever they could get, sinister whispers wrapping around innocent souls, heads turning to the other side, pretending not to see what should never be unseen.
It seemed I never really left, towing all that baggage half across the world, with ghosts flying out of my suitcases. In the end, it was not the inheritance that dragged me back, but those persistent ghosts.
I hope the ghosts left her suitcase (love that) when she burnt the house down. Sounds like a fitting end. Beautifully ugly…well written descriptions put me there.
This was bitterly good. I loved the tone. I think I’d have said “trying not to see what could never be unseen” rather than ‘should’. But perhaps you were trying to make a different point to the way I looked at it. In any event, excellent!
Reminded me of The Vampire diaries when Elena set the house on fire with her brother in it (dead)..yikes “unwanted hands…on innocent souls”, God help us if that’s possible 🙂 nicely written, with good imagery.
Cheers.
Great story, baggage never seems to get truly left behind. Ghosts in suitcases is a great metaphor, wherever you go however you try they’re coming with you.
Some of those ghosts flew out of the suitcase into the reader’s minds too. Very powerful image and description of the house…the “what should never been unseen” added a complex layer of mystery, sadness and fear.
Good word selection, descriptive voice! I absolutely love this track. I have not seen the movies, but been listening to the song for years. The resonate emotions embedded with the beautiful string section moves me to tears every time. Oh…to be loved like that.
I haven’t read the comments yet, but got the impression from the story that it was about abuse, but then I wasn’t sure why she went back, maybe to confront her demons?
I think either some horrendous, disturbing things happened in that house that drove her away, she’s tremendously disturbed, or both. One does not simply burn their house down without reason. Also, either the ghosts are in her mind or the house is haunted. I tend to think the ghosts are terrible memories. Well done and layered, Lore. —- Suzanne
Snow's Fissures and Fractures 
Dear Loré,
I hope the ghosts left her suitcase (love that) when she burnt the house down. Sounds like a fitting end. Beautifully ugly…well written descriptions put me there.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Beautifully ugly…I like that! Thank you, Rochelle. 🙂
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What a wonderful last line!
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Thank you!
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Hahahaha! You got me on that last line.
Brilliant, Loré! Very gothic in tone, mysterious, just right.
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Thank you, that makes me happy!
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I think burning down the ghosts is what really counts… I hope it works. You and Sandra seemed to have found the same story.
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Yes, we were on the same path.
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Very nice. Hints of melancholy mixed with terror. Really liked this story.
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That is very kind to say, thank you.
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I really loved reading this, it would be awesome to read a longer version.
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Glad you liked it. I wish I had time to expend on some of my short stories.
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You’re welcome.
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This was bitterly good. I loved the tone. I think I’d have said “trying not to see what could never be unseen” rather than ‘should’. But perhaps you were trying to make a different point to the way I looked at it. In any event, excellent!
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“Should” was a deliberate choice, to accentuate the tragedy that was overlooked by purpose. Thank you so much, Sandra. I immensely value your input.
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Reminded me of The Vampire diaries when Elena set the house on fire with her brother in it (dead)..yikes “unwanted hands…on innocent souls”, God help us if that’s possible 🙂 nicely written, with good imagery.
Cheers.
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I remember that episode. 😀 Glad you liked it, thank you.
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I loved the line “towing all that baggage half across the world, with ghosts flying out of my suitcases.” Great little piece 🙂
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Who knew so many people would love that particular sentence? Thank you, Helen!
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I agree with Helen. ‘towing all that baggage half way across the world, with ghosts flying out of my suitcases’ is a spectacular piece of imagery.
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Thank you, Carol. I imagined it as I was writing, in my mind those ghosts were a friendly bunch. 🙂
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Oooo some great lines here! Very creepy images but she had power and used it by leaving first then eventually returning to destroy. God piece
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As long as she was able to leave it all behind…Thank you!
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I keep wondering if she is speaking literally or figuratively. I love that.
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Up to you, Dawn. I love leaving many possible paths. Thank you so much.
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A beautiful yet evil place I guess, I wonder what grew out of the ashes
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Something new and strong and good, I hope.
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A hose of death and ashes long before it burned
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Indeed.
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Great story, baggage never seems to get truly left behind. Ghosts in suitcases is a great metaphor, wherever you go however you try they’re coming with you.
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Yes, so better make your peace with them.
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Wonderful images carrying a dark and sinister story. The ending is perfect – she wins in the end.
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Fire can destroy, but it can also offer a fresh start. Thank you, Margaret.
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Great story, a clean break from the house and the ghosts.
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Indeed. Thank you.
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This is great. We all carry ghosts with us, but some are worse than others. I also love the last line.
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Much appreciated, thank you.
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A huge story in those 100 words! Utterly compelling.
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Thank you!
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“Ghosts flying out of her suitcases”, great imagery
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Thank you, Tracey!
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Some of those ghosts flew out of the suitcase into the reader’s minds too. Very powerful image and description of the house…the “what should never been unseen” added a complex layer of mystery, sadness and fear.
Well done!
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I am so happy those ghosts found their audience. Thank you! 🙂
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Such a terror-filled and tragic story! This is a beautifully written, powerful and emotional tale!
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Thank you so much for your kind words!
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My pleasure!
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And was your protagonist the victim of molestation and incest? It sounds like it. Made me shudder in sympathy for her. Again, beautifully written.
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Yes, you guessed it right.
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The house will not be lived in again, and that is as it should be. Very well-written story.
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Thank you, Jan.
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Good word selection, descriptive voice! I absolutely love this track. I have not seen the movies, but been listening to the song for years. The resonate emotions embedded with the beautiful string section moves me to tears every time. Oh…to be loved like that.
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I adore that song and the movie.
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I haven’t read the comments yet, but got the impression from the story that it was about abuse, but then I wasn’t sure why she went back, maybe to confront her demons?
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Yes, you got it right. It was about abuse.
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Ha ha! I missed the last line! Oops!
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You’ve got to love a good house fire! Hope it got rid of her ghosts for good! Fab take on the prompt, I really enjoyed it! Heidi 🙂
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Thank you, Heidi! New things grow after te fire.
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I think either some horrendous, disturbing things happened in that house that drove her away, she’s tremendously disturbed, or both. One does not simply burn their house down without reason. Also, either the ghosts are in her mind or the house is haunted. I tend to think the ghosts are terrible memories. Well done and layered, Lore. —- Suzanne
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Yes, she was haunted by the ghosts of her memory. Bad things happened in that house. Thank you for your constant support, Suzanne!
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Impressive tale, making a connection between a haunted house and a house full of trouble makers
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Thank you, Larry!
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