Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
“How much?”
“50 for a blowjob, 200 for a backdoor entrance. No regular shit, I can’t do that anymore.”
Dawet looked at the empty building on the other side, wondering if he’ll ever see her again…and why burning bridges was so much easier.
He barely noticed when bony fingers ripped the 50 bill from his shaking hand, instinctively spreading his legs when she sank to her knees.
“Wilvia…” he sighed heavily.
“My name is Anne.”
Two empty chairs on the other side stared back…mocking him for wasting a life he never deserved to have.
I am speechless. I have so many emotions about this piece. I am disgusted. I am impressed. It is a very well written piece about a man in the depths of depression and longing. Well done.
This leaves mecringing too, for different reasons. I echo the other comments about the superb writing and the setting of the scene, but I can’t really feel all that sorry for the guy. He degrades himself, but what about the prostitute? Many of them don’t chose this path because they want it. Her humiliation is doubled, with the horrible job, and with the name-calling, even if she’s used to it.
This is the most interesting part of this process, to find out how the story resonates with the readers. Thank you for your lengthy comment, I must say I agree with your point of view.
But what had he done that he was trying to forget and what happened to Wilvia? I guess we know after all. Great story, and one in which the language works and contributes to the mood.
Interesting escapism at its most primal. Well done. The track pairing goes perfectly with the scene, I read it over again to the music and the whole schebang rolled like a movie in my head. Brilliant!
I think it’s a nice tie-in (added music). During my undergrad, I wrote a creative non-fiction with a track list as an appendix. While my peers thought it was an added aesthetic feature, the Prof felt it was distracting and confusing. Methinks we are ahead of our time. Keep creating, blended media is sure to take off. As the audience evolves and the millennials come-up, I think “blended” will be the way to roll.
Snow's Fissures and Fractures 
Dear Loré,
I’m cringing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Good. Mission accomplished. 🙂
Thank you.
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That is a great description of life at it’s lowest but yuk!
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What can I say? I was in a mood…Thank you.
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I liked it, but then, it’s a dark and perverted place inside my mind. Nicely done.
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Well, thank you. I think we all have at least one tiny room with no lights on.
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Dark, yes. Brilliantly written, absolutely.
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Much appreciated, as ever.
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I feel sad reading this… so sad… and cringing too… humiliations works in many ways.
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Indeed. I wonder why self-inflicting humiliation is so hard to recognize.
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I am speechless. I have so many emotions about this piece. I am disgusted. I am impressed. It is a very well written piece about a man in the depths of depression and longing. Well done.
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Your words are so rewarding, thank you!
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Comments before mine have said it better than I could. Hard, dark, but well written.
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Thank you so much.
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If only he could have seen the beauty before he let it go. This piece may make people think, but not the right people.
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Agreed, those people are absorbed in their own pool of misery.
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“No regular shit, I can’t do that anymore.”…things that make you go “Ugh”
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I really have no idea what possesed me to write this story.
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Embrace it!
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Graphically realistic description of degradation.
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Thank you!
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Your muse was in a strange mood this week. 🙂 Sometimes it’s good to let a whole other side take over, uncomfortable though it may be. Well done.
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It makes me uncomfortable how comfortable I felt writing this. 🙂
Thank you, Sandra.
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This sounded very real. He’s in a dark place.
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Yes, he is. Tnx!
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This leaves mecringing too, for different reasons. I echo the other comments about the superb writing and the setting of the scene, but I can’t really feel all that sorry for the guy. He degrades himself, but what about the prostitute? Many of them don’t chose this path because they want it. Her humiliation is doubled, with the horrible job, and with the name-calling, even if she’s used to it.
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This is the most interesting part of this process, to find out how the story resonates with the readers. Thank you for your lengthy comment, I must say I agree with your point of view.
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Sorry for the lengthy.
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Ups, I didn’t mean that as a bad thing. I should have used some other word. My apologies.
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And you seem like such a sweet woman… This left me shuddering. Proof you are such a good writer!
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Thank you, Dale. Your comment made me laugh…a sweet woman. 😀
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Good! 😉
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Oh how bleak! So many images with those first words and then all the way throughout.
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Thank you, I guess. 🙂
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But what had he done that he was trying to forget and what happened to Wilvia? I guess we know after all. Great story, and one in which the language works and contributes to the mood.
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Thank you, Perry.
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Some people, as they say, live lives of quiet desperation. Beautifully evoked
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Glad you liked it, thank you.
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Ewww. Effective, Loré, but … what in the WORLD? Or, maybe not OF this world. He’ll know that will NOT be the best $50 he ever spent, believe it!
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Sadly, it is of this world and it happens every day.
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I’ll grant you that.
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I was taken aback – and admired your daring, and the well-crafted, stark, horrible reality of that person’s life. The end is so utterly sad!
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Thank you, that means a lot.
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Interesting escapism at its most primal. Well done. The track pairing goes perfectly with the scene, I read it over again to the music and the whole schebang rolled like a movie in my head. Brilliant!
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Sometimes I question whether the reader even listens to the music I post, or is it too much…So happy it worked for you. Thank you!
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I think it’s a nice tie-in (added music). During my undergrad, I wrote a creative non-fiction with a track list as an appendix. While my peers thought it was an added aesthetic feature, the Prof felt it was distracting and confusing. Methinks we are ahead of our time. Keep creating, blended media is sure to take off. As the audience evolves and the millennials come-up, I think “blended” will be the way to roll.
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Completely agree!
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This isn’t really fiction, it is a reality that exists and the one which we avert our gaze from. Brilliantly done.
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Completely agree, it is all around us. Thank you.
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Despite the “adult” theme of this story , this line “..wasting a life he never deserved to have.” tells the whole story. Nicely done.
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Thank you!
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And all because someone probably couldn’t say, “Sorry”. What a sad way to live. Well written, realistic, Lore`. — Suzanne
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Thank you so much, Suzanne. Sorry for missing your comment.
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