Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wissof-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – Erin Leary
Copyright – Erin Leary
Dear Loré,
Sounds like a hard and sad place to be. You captured well the sense of despair and longing. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS…What is your country. I don’t think I know.
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Thank you, Rochelle. It is a reflection of my mind. I live in Croatia.
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A very strong piece which resonates deeply with me, and I’m assuming we’re not from the same country. 😦 Well done.
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I don’t know if it is more sad or comforting that we share same troubles…World is but a small village. Thank you, Sandra!
Greetings from Croatia. 🙂
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Being addressed to an unknown ‘you’ makes this piece so strong.
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Few years ago I wrote a short story using “you”, it surprised me how powerful it turned out.
Glad you liked it, Claire. Thank you so much.
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Most powerful. And very pessimistic. I hope this isn’t always the case for your character.
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No, it is just always a case for many other characters. Thank you, Patrick.
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So many aspects of this are relatable, no matter what country we are from.
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Unfortunately, that is true. Tnx for stopping by.
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The narrator’s sense of grief and loss resonate strongly in your story. I love your use of second person narration. You’re right – it’s powerful. The ending is so sad. I hear your observations, too, about your own homeland. What a world we live in – will we ever grow up?
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I think not, we keep running in circles. Thank you so much, Margaret.
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Great piece, very powerful and also topical.
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Thank you, much appreciated. It is depressing to think many people share same concerns.
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Lovely, sad and original. Interesting choice to use the second person in this, but I think it works.
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Glad you think so, thank you.
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Sigh.
Not a lot of laughs here, Lore, but a fine piece of writing.
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Very kind words, much appreciated.
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I get a feeling it’s like travel to an unfriendly place without leaving… everything around you just transforms.
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You really nailed it. It feels like someone turned off the lights.
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This is sad, and so true for far too many people, with a very powerful last line.Most people in Europe (or their families) would know how this feels if they remembered their own history. Great writing.
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Thank you so much. I do hope it is a passing feeling, things must get better. Eventually.
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Powerful and well written.
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Thank you for the very kind words.
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This stuck a chord in me …sometimes it seems that my home country does not feel the same anymore when I go back. Nicely done.
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We share many things, no matter where we come frome. Thank you.
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Oof what a poignant story, and relatable to so many of us. Leaving your home is never easy. Starting over somewhere new is never easy. You captured those sentiments so well.
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Thank you, I think we can all relate to that subject.
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I couldn’t have imaginee living through this – you made me feel it.
Love the addition of this piece of music. The whole album is hauntingly beautiful (one of my faves and actually on my desk as we speak!)
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Dale, that is wonderful. It is one of my favorites, too.
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I agree that the second person narration works very well here. It has such an ominous feeling to it.
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Thank you.
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A new place with new things to learn and become accustomed to.
The life of one searching for a better life.
I liked it very much.
Isadora 😎
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Very kind words, Isadora. Thank you!
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Beautiful and so perfectly tinged with loss and regret, Loré.
This is probably one of my very favorite soundtracks. LOVE it.
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Glad you liked both. Thank you, Dawn.
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This is a great reflection that I daresay taps into n intercontinental ethos that is running pretty deep these days. Great job.
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Yes, it seems we are surrounded by darkness. Thank you, Joseph.
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Beautifully expressed. I go through those emotions each time I leave.
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It is hard to leave, but it is impossible to stay. Thank you!
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Such a feeling of hopelessness Lore. You described homesickness and loneliness perfectly. Well done. Thanks for the lovely music. —- Suzanne
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Glad you liked it, Suzanne! Thank you.
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I know that word – a feeling that is deep in your bones. Your piece is powerful for all it doesn’t say. Here’s to a future that has more hope.
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Cheers! 🙂
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That was a stunning piece of work! Very moving and poignant! These lines, especially, did it for me:
“When you think about it, there are stories more tragic than yours. It is just that those stories are at the edge of your universe, maintaining irregular orbit around you.”
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I can only hope my words would find a way to someones heart. Thank you so much!
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You’re welcome, and it’s my pleasure!
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