Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – C.E. Ayr
Copyright – C.E. Ayr
Once upon a time there was a big bad wolf.
Great twist on a familiar tale.
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And those seven dwarfs were running a brothel. 😛 Thank you!
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I love twists on fairy stories. Great job.
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I went for an obvious choice this week. Glad you liked it, so thank you very much!
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I loved your twist on this traditional tale. I now see Prince Charming in a whole new light!
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Thank you, Mike!
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Dear Loré,
That’s certainly a different take on Cinderella. Prince Charming’s not charming, is he? Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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No, he is not. Thank you, Rochelle.
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You’ve burst so many bubbles: Prince Charming is a wife beater!
Good piece.
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Thank you, Mick. Bubbles exploding all over! 😀
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Oof. That was violent. I’ll stick to the original.
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I have a taste for a little dark twist. 🙂
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I love this gruesome twist on the old fairy tale, puts it all in a different light.
C- this is minor, and probably only because of the limited number of words issue, but in the last para is he standing over the shoe and then suddenly cradling it, without us seeing him pick it up. It just seemed like a big jump for me.
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Yes, it is a leap of faith towards my readers. 🙂 Definitely a result of word limit, hope it is not a too big issue.
I am happy that you loved it, means a lot. And your C is always welcome.
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That’s sad… not a prince charming after all! 😦
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I am afraid not.
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Love it! Prefer a nice prince in person, but on paper he is just wonderful!
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Thank you, Michelle! 😀
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Liked the switch from what we assumed was a modern day domestic abuse story into a twisted fairy tale. Nice. C – Very minor and it might just be me…”Blood drops” jarred slightly. Think I’m perhaps used to “drops of blood”. Thanks for sharing, see you next week.
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It didn’t sound right to me either, but I had some kind of a blockade, silly how I couldn’t remember drops of blood? Thank you.
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Your take on this age-old fairy tale is quite disturbing ~ in a very good way indeed.
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Thank you, Alicia. I just added a touch of reality.
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Well that was depressing!
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I promise I will not ruin any other fairy tale!
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Definitely a twist on Cinderella. I wish she could have been a kung fu fighter and decked him. Or maybe smashed her glass slipper in his face. 🙂
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I bet there are many kung fu Cindrellas out there. Thank you, Deborah.
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This really rang true as to what happens in family violence cases. A sad twist on the familiar tale but as we get older probably few of us believe in happy endings.
C – This worked for me and I haven’t any suggestions for improvement. I think why it worked so well for me was the first line followed by the biff to the nose. That is such a truism that I believed every word after that.
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Ah, Irene….so many kind words, thank you!!!
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I always suspected that someone who needs the word “charming” in his name had to be hiding something. Great twist on the tale!
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Yeah, he was always a bit fishy. Thank you!
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A realistic fairy take. Nice.
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Thank you.
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Chilling, chilling tale. Sadly, too true for those women in abusive relationships. The idea of equating it with the Princess / Prince Charming ‘happily ever after” fairy tale so many young girls read….or have read to them in this Disney world we live in…realy adds to the story.
On the C side: … and just a suggestion because, as you can see from above, I am quite taken with the tale. Might you consider changing the word “marred” to “spattered?” I think of a blood spatter as more violent — the fist in the nose and the blood spatter on her dress? On the other hand, “marred” is an excellent word for what happens to her fairy tale dream.
Excellent tale.
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Thank you, Lillian. I am so happy you liked my story, your comments are much appreciated. As for spattered vs marred, I agree that it sounds more violent. But I like how “marred” sounds when said aloud, reminds me of a cat that cornered a mouse.
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Yes….love your explanation here! 🙂
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This reminds me of Shrek. Nicely done.
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I had the same thought!
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🙂
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Really? That is interesting. But I think Fiona would kick Prince Charmin’s ass. 🙂
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Well maybe after she discovered who he really was. And in the second or third part Prince charming lead the rebel against fairy tale stories.
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deliciously dark 🙂
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Oh, thank you!
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Great story! A dark spin a Cinderella. 🙂
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Yes, indeed. Thank you.
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Happy ever after, bah humbug.
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Lol.
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Be careful what you wish for… the package may be pretty but underneath. Nice twist to a well-known tale!
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I think the message fits well in this superficial world of today.
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Indeed!
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Woow, such a different take on the old fairy tale, loved the practicality of it
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That is nice to hear, thank you.
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Wow, I like this. I probably shouldn’t, but I do!
100 whimsical words for Friday Fictioneers
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Thank you, Keith. 🙂
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I enjoyed your darker perspective on the Cinderella story. The “Happily Ever After” myth is once again debunked. The story had an emotional and gritty feel with a subtle denouement. Nicely crafted.
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Very kind words, thank you!
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It made me ‘ouch’ in a good way. I also loved the bad Prince Charming in Shrek. Your ‘Charming’ is scary and brings out emotions. That is good writing. I don’t have anything else C-wise to add. I love retelling of fairy tales, too.
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Thank you so much!
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Wow, most princes turn out to be less than advertised, but poor Cinderella…from the fire into the frying pan for her!
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Yes, from that horrible stepmother to this…not the luckiest girl in the world.
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Well done, and sadly too true for many Cinderella’s, even this one. Great flash!
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Glad you liked it.
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Wow, when dreams turn to nightmares! Great and very unusual story.
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Unusual, my very favorite! Thank you, Perry.
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You captured the darkness of this relationship very well, and contrasting it with the traditional “happily ever after” makes it even more stark. Well done
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Thank you so much.
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I had a Cinderella theme too. Mine happened because of the last sentence/thought in my story.? It wasn’t planned. I am wondering how many others were drawn to that ‘shoe’ as well?
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I knew it was so obvious, but sometimes you can’t run from it.
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I just watched a documentary on domestic violence last night, and your story captures perfectly the reality of how such relationships progress. The women spoke of how they were charmed by their partners’ smooth talk, or gifts, and I was amazed by how so many of these men were able to talk their way back after each violent outburst. I really like your version of this tale.
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I am always surprised how most of those abusive men keep abuse and are almost welcomed back. I can’t imagine how I could accept that kind of behavior. But, we should not judge until we walked in those shoes. Thank you, Margaret. As always, your comment is cherished.
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Cinderella’s fairy godmother needs to come back and sock the uncharming Prince right in the nose. Great twist on the fairy tale, Lore. Well done. — Suzanne
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Couldn’t agree more, Suzanne. Thank you!
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Oh, a twisted Prince Charming! I don’t like him but I like the story. 🙂
Lily
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Thank you, Lily!
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I winced as I read this!! A twisted fairy tale indeed! Well done Lore- Friday Fictioneers is perfect for you- I’ve read quite a few of your stories in this!!
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True, I enjoy it very much. Thank you, Cybelle!
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