Silente

Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….

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 Copyright –   J Hardy Carroll

“I never met anyone who wears their battle scars with more pride.” He looks at my exposed back.

Adjusting the straps on my dress, I turn around and study his weathered face. “My darling, it is not pride that makes me do this. The graves are easily overlooked.”

Leading me to the dance floor, he leans and whispers: “Judging by their faces, you made your point, Colonel.”

We dance and twirl, carelessly exposed to the world. Because the deepest scars are hidden in our souls, only to be shown in the solitude, accompanied by the silence of the drums.

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55 thoughts on “Silente

  1. ‘Tis true. The deepest scars are the ones that can’t be seen. I liked the slow reveal that she’s a Colonel. That last paragraph gave me chills. C – I simply don’t have a criticisms for this. I think you wrote it beautifully.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was a powerful piece of writing Loré. I loved the line “The graves are easily overlooked.”

    c – Second line needs a capital to start. In my opinion it would be more powerful if you didn’t tell us he “marvels” Something simple like looked or stared may work better.
    Also in the first line it probably should be wears rather than wore.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s beautifully written, well said, and a great point about how easily we forget those who died.

    But if you want to get rid wears, maybe use display.“I never met anyone who displays their battle scars with more pride.”
    Wears to me, although displays and wears are interchangeable, wears – to me means it can be taken off, or put on. Scar can’t. May just be me though.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve learned to listen to your music after the story, or occasionally before… but I enjoy both so much, I can’t do it together–– I want to savor each word, and listen undistracted. Both are fabulous this week, Loré! Very moving and real.

    Liked by 1 person

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