Deliverance

Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….

kitche-picture-prompt

 Copyright –  Raina Ng

Nothing’s changed much. Immaculately clean stage, every heartbreaking memento in its carefully chosen position, props to his choreography of life.

“Please..let me die.”

The memory of her voice follows him through the rooms filled with solitude.

“I am sorry, I am so sorry,” he whispers with  lips pressed to her hair, taking the knife from her hand.

“No, my love.” her sad smile twists her broken face, tears mixing with blood. “This is not your fault.”

Standing alone in the familiar darkness, the welcoming coldness of the knife on his wrist, he asks the shadows: “Will this be my deliverance?”

There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you

41 thoughts on “Deliverance”

  4. paulmclem says:

    Very dramatic. As an aside did you mean to end dialogue with a “.” and then follow with lower case i.e. “I am sorry, I am so sorry.” he whispers…

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      • paulmclem says:

        Nae bother. For me two examples of correctly punctuated dialogue would be something like:

        “I’m hungry,” said Joe, staring into the fridge.
        i.e. a comma inside the quotes and lower case when continuing outside.

        “I’m bloody famished, woman. Get me my dinner.” Joe was in a bad mood, again.
        i.e. punctuation (full-stop) inside the quotes and upper case when continuing outside.

        There are many sites out there with tips and guidelines for dialogue. However, my two little examples are ones which will hold you in good stead.

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  10. “The coldness of the knife on his wrist” is chillling. Two young deaths are sad in the extreme. What the man hasn’t worked through is that he is not responsible for the girl’s death. To kill himself through feelings of guilt is tragedy at its greatest. Nicely written

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