Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – Sandra Crook
“Your hands are cold.” you said on a misty morning, blowing a warm breath over my frozen fingers.
“Come back to me.” I whispered to you, as your kiss melted the ice around my heart.
Summer came and you left me with only a promise of years filled with solitude. We traded our love for war trenches, flowers on your dress replaced by blossoming wounds.
Years later, I met you on our bridge, recognizing every invisible scar.
“Your hands are cold.” I whispered, as my tears fell upon the hands of a stranger.
I particularly liked the line about ‘flowers’ and ‘blossoming wounds’. Nicely done.
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Well, thank you for this lovely image, it was very inspiring.
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The sadness of the cold hands change meaning so much after all that happened.. so much emotion packed into this story.
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Thank you, Björn. I am happy you caught the transition.
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I like the way we think alike, although I must admit, I like your work better than my own. Well written take on the photo. I am a fan now!
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Thank you, that is very gracious of you. But, don’t sell yourself short, yours was a great story.
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Pass me a tissue, sniff!
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That is very kind, thank you. They’ll be fine. 😉
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I’ll need a tissue too!! So sad, but at least they are together at last!
Great story 🙂
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I hope they make it. Thank you, Rachel.
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Great circularity here. So much happening and such rich language.
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Thank you, Patrick. It was a very inspirational image.
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You brought this around so adroitly and with so much emotion. The change from love to “war” and then, later, to stranger pulled at my heart! Wonderful.
janet
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Adroitly – had to check that out. Thank you for teaching me a new word. I am glad you caught on that “stranger” part.
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I agree with the others, this is packed full of emotions and sorrow. I feel sad for them.
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I am afraid that is life, filled with so much emotions, sometimes it gets hard to stay afloat. Thank you for your continuing support.
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Vivid imagery and full of emotion.
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Thank you, it seems I can’t write without a heart on my sleeve.
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Have you read my work? HEART. ON. SLEEVE. I’m a softy. Keep writing sentimental essays. I cringe at all of the murder and cruelty.
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Such a powerful and emotional piece.
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Thank you, Norma. I still manage to surprise myself, this is a journey I was waiting for too long.
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Very powerful piece filled with great imagery (particularly the flowers on the dress/blossoming wounds).
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Thank you, I thought it would be the best way to portray a transformation from a girl in love to a soldier. Hope I succeeded.
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Dear Loré,
War changes things. Poignant and sad.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes, so many strangers return…and such a long way to get back. Thank you.
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Dear Lore,
Thank you for the music. Going to be downloading it tonight. Was your story a tribute or takeoff on that movie? Whether it was or not, it was well written and evocative. Wonderful.
Aloha,
Doug
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Actually, the image reminded me of a last scene from a 2005. Pride and Prejudice and the words “Your hands are cold” came to mind. After that, the story went it’s own way and the music from Edge of Tomorrow was an afterthought. If you like this piece, you might like Oblivion soundtrack, excellent music. Too bad both movies didn’t meet my expectations.
Thank you, Doug.
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So much story going on here, heartbreaking and beautifully written
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You words are kind as always, thank you for that.
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This is beautiful. The little ritual and words connect them despite all of war’s scars pulling them apart.
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Thank you so much, sorry I missed your comment.
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No worries. 🙂
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Very emotional, like how you played with the words and all. Great job!
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Glad you liked it, thank you.
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Loré, this story really captures that sense of loss, in a love that turns… and then is revisited. The years of remembering, and missing. Really well done. A friend shared this song with me the other day. I love Fleetwood Mac, but had not heard this one. I’ve listened many times since. It goes well with your touching story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pqnoln_aGcQ
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Revisiting my old stories, I stumbled upon your comments. I don’t know how I missed it, thank you so much. And the song is great.
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Such a sad story, and so well constructed. I really like the ‘cold hands’ imagery, and the return home of a stranger is heart-breaking.
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Thank you, Margaret.
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Filled with sadness and longing. Lovely!
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Glad you liked it, thank you.
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Two souls bought to life and light in such few words! Beautiful
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Thank you, it pleases me you liked it.
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This was a well-written, although sad, story of the effect of war on this relationship. You said so much in that 100 words, Lore. — Suzanne
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Thank you, Suzanne. That is very kind.
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