Years go by, yet the pain remains,
Carved in my bones with a pocket knife.
If I could break them and re-set again,
I wonder if that would reshape my life.
And after all the years… time stands still.
The reflection in the mirror stares back,
Who is this stranger with a mirthless smile?
I frantically search for a trace of familiarity,
But it’s lost to me, covered with blood and bile.
And yet again… time stands still.
I try to tame the hunger with things I hate,
Hoping I’ll get my demons back on a leash.
This life is nothing more than one big cliché,
Poor imitation of already used pastiche.
Over and over again… time stands still.
Followed by a shadow of imminent demise,
My screams echo in a silent solitude.
Prisoner of past, present and future,
I find myself a singularity in the multitude.
Like a broken watch… time stands still.
Who is this child without a father?
And who is this motherless daughter…
Capable of remembering every silver lining,
Even when she is drowning in a knee-high water.
Rushing, running…while time stands still.
I wonder about her from time to time.
Will she be able to run up the hill?
Can she find once more the reason to live?
Breathing even if the…
…time sands still.
Claudia Schönfeld and Brian Miller of dVerse each selected a poem and asked us to grab one line, either of Claudia’s or Brian’s poem and write our own poem, based on the line we chose.
I picked the line from Claudia’s poem “sketching on Portobello Road//the clock//is body-less”…and yes, you guessed it – time stands still.
Amaranthine… has to look that word up, now this poem makes perfect sense… so the pain is everlasting, like time standing still. Visceral write; especially liked, “Followed by a shadow of imminent demise” ah, the pain, the memories… can’t even escape them in their dying moment…
that first stanza really sets this up with a vivid image…not only the carved bones…but the thought of rebreaking them and resetting them to shape a better life…nice intensity all the way through in feeling…
Well done. It’s true that pain can be ceaseless; it doesn’t mean one can’t function/live, however.
Really like this part:
Prisoner of past, present and future,
I find myself a singularity in the multitude.
Viscerally painful, deeply personal and heartfelt poem (even if I hope you have not experienced those feelings). I thought amaranthine was a gemstone, so I too had to look it up – and now the whole colour of the poem makes sense.
I like that word and thought it would fit perfectly. Although personal, I am far removed from this darkness. Thank you, your kindness is much appreciated.
breaking and re-setting bones… shaping life in a new way and change certain things… sometimes i wish that it would be possible… great intensity in your images here… and i do hope that she finds a way to breathe – and live again
It is not deleted, furthermore I replied to your comment. Check all the comments under my post and you will see it. And I really do not appreciate your remarks. I take special care of replying to every comment made on my posts first and then I make my rounds. I visit around 150 blogs every week, read posts and comment. I participate in few photographic and writing challenges where I met so many wonderful people and I truly enyoj this blogging experience and the big part of it is visiting others and commenting on their work. I really don’t understand what do you expect from me?
Dear Mary,
one more thing. I noticed how you don’t reply to the comments made on your poem. See, that is one thing that bothers me. It is a nice gesture to acknowledge people that took time to visit, read and comment.
What an intense and feeling poem. From the carved bones, to resetting and all through, the repetition and variants of time stands still. So many times, it does stand still and our heart seems to stop beating. Wonderful.
Isn’t this the uncertain history we all have – during those times when nothing seems to move; we take stock, we question, “what if”. Well explored and dramatically written with effective use of rhyme and the repetition of the initial lines..and the punched up change at the end. Very fine indeed.
Amaranthine… has to look that word up, now this poem makes perfect sense… so the pain is everlasting, like time standing still. Visceral write; especially liked, “Followed by a shadow of imminent demise” ah, the pain, the memories… can’t even escape them in their dying moment…
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From my own experience, pain fades out with time. But in its full intensity, it can make the world turn around. Thank you so much.
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that first stanza really sets this up with a vivid image…not only the carved bones…but the thought of rebreaking them and resetting them to shape a better life…nice intensity all the way through in feeling…
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Thank you, Brian. I am glad that intensity was well received.
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ah… sad, since there are many lives out there that would fit into this profile… the pocket knife in the beginning set the stage for the poem
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It’s interesting how something so simple can set the tone. I must admit, it was not intentional. Thank you.
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This is beautiful and haunting. I love the twist at the end, the little tweak of Claudia’s line. Peace, Linda
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Thank you, Linda I was captivated by that line.
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Your poem definitely shows that it can be painful when ‘life stands still.’ And sometimes it is hard to keep on. Your repetition works well!
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Thank you, Mary. It is nice to know my experiment with the form worked.
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Hmmm, I hope you will make the rounds and comment on those who commented on you:
http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2015/02/money-money-money.html
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I always visit others and leave a comment. I just like to take my time and do it over the weekend, week days are very busy for me.
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That first stanza is amazing and the repetition is so very effective.
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Thank you, much appreciated,
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Your poem made me think of a gallery of black and white photos, each one telling a painful story. Great use of the repetition of Claudia’s line.
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Oh, I like your imagination, very fitting. It was a very inspiring line. Thank you so much.
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Well done. It’s true that pain can be ceaseless; it doesn’t mean one can’t function/live, however.
Really like this part:
Prisoner of past, present and future,
I find myself a singularity in the multitude.
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We learn to live with so many obstacles, surviving when we think it’s all over. Thank you, Kathy.
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The pain when something seems to be moving – like a ferret running frantically in a wheel. Vivid and strong words Loré
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Yes, moving and standing still at the same time. Thank you.
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The first line is so captivating and the poem is very painful.
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Thank you, Norma.
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Viscerally painful, deeply personal and heartfelt poem (even if I hope you have not experienced those feelings). I thought amaranthine was a gemstone, so I too had to look it up – and now the whole colour of the poem makes sense.
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I like that word and thought it would fit perfectly. Although personal, I am far removed from this darkness. Thank you, your kindness is much appreciated.
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I like the way you use the chosen line as a refrain, which keeps deepening the intensity.
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I am glad it worked. It’s nice to come up with new ways to express yourself. Thank you.
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breaking and re-setting bones… shaping life in a new way and change certain things… sometimes i wish that it would be possible… great intensity in your images here… and i do hope that she finds a way to breathe – and live again
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Thank you, Claudia. I was very inspired by that borrowed line.
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Oh well, I see you deleted my comment about reciprocity.
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It is not deleted, furthermore I replied to your comment. Check all the comments under my post and you will see it. And I really do not appreciate your remarks. I take special care of replying to every comment made on my posts first and then I make my rounds. I visit around 150 blogs every week, read posts and comment. I participate in few photographic and writing challenges where I met so many wonderful people and I truly enyoj this blogging experience and the big part of it is visiting others and commenting on their work. I really don’t understand what do you expect from me?
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Dear Mary,
one more thing. I noticed how you don’t reply to the comments made on your poem. See, that is one thing that bothers me. It is a nice gesture to acknowledge people that took time to visit, read and comment.
Best regards
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What an intense and feeling poem. From the carved bones, to resetting and all through, the repetition and variants of time stands still. So many times, it does stand still and our heart seems to stop beating. Wonderful.
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Oh, thank you for your kind words, much appreciated.
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Isn’t this the uncertain history we all have – during those times when nothing seems to move; we take stock, we question, “what if”. Well explored and dramatically written with effective use of rhyme and the repetition of the initial lines..and the punched up change at the end. Very fine indeed.
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Thank you, that means so much.
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A very powerful piece. I especially like the line…”Hoping I’ll get my demons back on a leash.”
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Thank you. It’s an ongoing struggle for many.
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Fun run through the scars of time
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