Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
There was a boy in a house next to mine. With a golden hair and freckled cheeks, brightest smile and kindest heart.
We were friends once.
Years went by and we changed. My braids got untangled and sneakers traded places with nonsensical shoes. His untamed hair lost its wild streak and his smile got misplaced somewhere along the way.
We were lovers once.
I watch you walk out of our home, crossing our lawn to your old house. Did you take our memories, too?
Thank you, Sandra. I was playing with the idea of those increasingly bigger and bolder sentences and the goal was to translate it as a distant memory of happier days gradually transforming into a soundless cry. My other idea was to start big and finish with the tinniest “I still love you,”, like a whisper of a broken person. I still don’t know which version would be better.
I considered starting small, centering in large and ending in small, like a wave. And some relationships. But maybe that’s a bit ambitious in 100 words.
No problem. Misspelling my name is epidemic, Loré. Even Michelle, the editor of the Daily Post spelled it wrong. I corrected her, too. Wisoff is kind of an unusual name. I just thought it was time to offer gentle correction. 😉
I hate when things like this happen, and you managed to capture it beautifully. I thought it was really creative how you enlarged the size of the sentences as the story unfolded, really added intent and emotion.
Thank you, I came up with it while I was writing and was surprised how good it worked. I never thought before the form could be so important, always concentrated on delivering the words.
This really drew me in and captured me emotionally. The ending was devastating.
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Thank you, although it is a sad story, I am glad it touched you.
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Simply heartbreaking.
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Oh, thank you for that.
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Lovely story and very inventive presentation. Well done.
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Thank you, Sandra. I was playing with the idea of those increasingly bigger and bolder sentences and the goal was to translate it as a distant memory of happier days gradually transforming into a soundless cry. My other idea was to start big and finish with the tinniest “I still love you,”, like a whisper of a broken person. I still don’t know which version would be better.
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I considered starting small, centering in large and ending in small, like a wave. And some relationships. But maybe that’s a bit ambitious in 100 words.
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I think that is a great idea and I will shamelessly use it. Thank you. 😉
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Oh! such a sad story.
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Thank you, Norma. It seems sad suits me well.
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Great gentle tale of love. It’ll happen.
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I hope he turns around, for both of them. Thank you.
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Dear Loré,
People change and grow apart. Poignant piece and I liked the rhythm of it.
Note: Wisoff…one s, two f’s. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh my, I’ve been wrong all this time! 🙂 I am so sorry, Rochelle.
Thank you,
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No problem. Misspelling my name is epidemic, Loré. Even Michelle, the editor of the Daily Post spelled it wrong. I corrected her, too. Wisoff is kind of an unusual name. I just thought it was time to offer gentle correction. 😉
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Interesting use of typography. I like how it segments the piece though.
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Thank you, I like to play around, always trying to deliver something different. Reading doesn’t have to be conventionally boring.
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Oh my goodness. Brilliant. You are so talented.
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Thank you, your words are too kind.
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And well deserved.
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Very sad, to be holding on to her love for him even after they’ve both changed and he’s no longer interested.
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Very sad, indeed. Thank you for stopping by.
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I hate when things like this happen, and you managed to capture it beautifully. I thought it was really creative how you enlarged the size of the sentences as the story unfolded, really added intent and emotion.
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Thank you, I like to play with forms.
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Oh wow, this is so sad… Maybe because it seems so realistic.
Very well told.
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Thank you, Rachel. Such lovely words.
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I love the way you have presented this.. what a great way of showing the progression.. and yes very sad…
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Thank you, I came up with it while I was writing and was surprised how good it worked. I never thought before the form could be so important, always concentrated on delivering the words.
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Such a moving story. I love your presentation, it emphasises the emotions perfectly. 🙂
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Thank you so much.
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oh that is very moving and beautiful!!
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Thank you, Cybele. It was an interesting story to write.
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Falling out of love is so much harder if it’s not mutual. What a sad and poignant tale.
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Very nicely said. Thank you.
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There’s a lot said in those few words; enough to make a movie about the narrator and her love. A beautiful song, too.
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Those are very kind words, thank you.
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Aww.
Randy
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Tnx, Randy.
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What a lovely sad story and I hope he turns around! I also loved the song you posted! Beautiful! Nan 🙂
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Thank you, Nan. I just hope she find her equilibrium.
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This is beautiful. And that final line is just perfect.
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Thank you so much for your kind words.
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A sad story well told. I particularly like the use of the fonts as the relationship moved on.
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Thank you, I found it a nice way of expanidng the 100 words story.
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It was very clever!
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Effective visual impact as well as a moving story that covers a whole lifetime. Well told.
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Thank you so much.
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I liked this including the structure. Converging and diverging lives! Much sadness for her. Wonder how he’s doing?
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That would be interesting to write, his POW. Glad you liked it and I apologize for this late reply.
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