Off the Shores of Acheron

Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wissof-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….

 Copyright –  Georgia Koch

Charon’s snicker echoed across the water: “Father’s love…what a feeble thing. Mine left me only this darkness to guard. And yours sent you to me without a coin. “

“I am scared.”

“Now, now…do not cry. I can’t stand it. Hop in, it will do me good to have an apprentice. And do not thank me.”

“But I don’t have a coin.”

“This is not a place for a child to suffer for her father’s sins, too crowded with penniless fools. Would it be we could change things around, so our fathers wander aimlessly in the dark. “

“Thank you.”

“Ah, fuck it.”

48 thoughts on “Off the Shores of Acheron”

Sandra says:

This is one time it’s OK not to be able to pay the ferryman. I loved this, and the contrast between the vernacular and the more classical language. 🙂 Well done. Great take on the prompt.

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January 21, 2015 at 14:36
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  I find the ferryman too serious and boring, wanted to add a touch of humanity to this tired, old deity. I was hesitant about that last line, but then I sad: “Ah, f…..” 😛 Glad you liked it.
  
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  January 21, 2015 at 23:12
Stacy P. Fischer says:

Hahaha! Love the surprise twist at the end – which I should have expected, given the fun twists you always bring to ABF! What fun 🙂

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January 21, 2015 at 15:24
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Oh, good thing you didn’t read my other stories. I might come across as bipolar, cause most of my stories and poems are depresingly dark. Glad you liked this one!
  
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  January 21, 2015 at 23:22
  - Stacy P. Fischer says:
    
    I cant believe I haven’t read any before, Loré! My bad. Your a woman of many talents 🙂
    
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    January 22, 2015 at 02:19
  - Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
    
    Thank you, I am blushing. 😛
    
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    January 22, 2015 at 10:26
aliciajamtaas says:

Wonderful take on the prompt. No coin, no problem.

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January 21, 2015 at 15:48
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  I would hope innocence would find the way to prevail, even in the darkest places. Thank you for that wonderful “wonderful”. 🙂
  
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  January 21, 2015 at 23:24
Björn Rudberg (brudberg) says:

A father’s sin should never rest hard upon the shoulder of his son, not to walk penniless on the shores of Styx.. The moral in this is flawless.

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January 21, 2015 at 16:21
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Sins of our fathers…following us like a shadow. Thank you for your kind words.
  
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  January 21, 2015 at 23:25
FabricatingFiction says:

Brilliant dialogue.

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January 21, 2015 at 18:01
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Thank you! Brilliant – I like that.
  
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  January 21, 2015 at 23:25
Rachel Bjerke says:

A ferryman with a heart, how tough that must be for him! I loved this one, very well done 🙂

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January 21, 2015 at 18:22
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Imagine the curse, to dwell in darkness with a heavy load on his heart. Thank you.
  
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  January 21, 2015 at 23:26
wolfsrosebud says:

great job on conversation… your characters were so real

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January 21, 2015 at 23:08
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  I was aiming for that, so thank you.
  
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  January 21, 2015 at 23:26
Perry Block (@PerryBlock) says:

Nice update and modernization of the old Greek legend. I’m not sure if he got across or not without the coin but I’m guessing when Charon said “fuck it!” he did. Or maybe not.

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January 22, 2015 at 10:18
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Who knows what that old grumpy dude thinks? Thank you!
  
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  January 22, 2015 at 10:27
rochellewisoff says:

Dear Loré,

Interesting blend of myth and modern dialogue.

Shalom,

Rochelle

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January 22, 2015 at 10:20
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  I felt that last line would polarize people, not many profanities in this FF community. Thank you for being kind. 🙂
  
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  January 22, 2015 at 10:28
dmmacilroy says:

Dear Lore,

Sometimes you just have to say it.

A good story for the prompt and well written to boot.

Aloha,

Doug

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January 22, 2015 at 14:37
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Thank you, Doug. It is very interesting to see people’s reactions to the story. Some find it funny, some find it tragic and I suspect some are little bit bothered by my choice of words.
  
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  January 22, 2015 at 20:27
Bastet says:

Perfect story to go along with the photo … loved every word! Ciao, Georgia!

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January 22, 2015 at 17:53
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  It is so nice to see One Four Challenge photo as a FF prompt. Somehow I missed this vesion and I really like it. Thank you, Georgia.
  
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  January 22, 2015 at 20:31
  - Bastet says:
    
    I agree, I was very happy to see the photo up for the prompt! This version was WK 1 … but it’s really very similar to WK 3 … a little grungier perhaps. Glad you recognized it!
    
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    January 23, 2015 at 08:40
  - Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
    
    I thought the really green image was Week 1, well it was two months ago, who could blame me? 😛 I like how many of my WP colleagues run in the same circles with me.
    
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    January 23, 2015 at 11:12
  - Bastet says:
    
    Yes … that is really interesting. … the acid green image was week 2 … trying to get rid of the acid green I came up with Charon’s boat … and yes … that was an age ago!
    
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    January 23, 2015 at 11:44
David Stewart says:

That last line made me laugh, just the juxtaposition with mythology. I think being Charon’s apprentice would be creepy, but he’d probably have some stories to tell later.
-David

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January 23, 2015 at 05:57
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  I thought it strangely fitting to end on that note. We take all the history and mythology too serious, while all these demi-gods wood probably sound less almighty in RL. Thank you!
  
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  January 23, 2015 at 11:05
draliman says:

I loved the rather old-fashioned pompous speech of the ferryman as he explains that it’s okay the chap can’t pay him, then that last line, almost as if he’s weary of such speech but felt that he had to say it and now it’s out of the way he can get on with things.

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January 23, 2015 at 06:50
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  You got it spot on. With that last line I wanted to accentuate that over the top language that is often used when writing about history. I bet nobody really spoke like that. Thank you!
  
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  January 23, 2015 at 11:10
Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist says:

Yes I enjoyed the language as well.

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January 23, 2015 at 08:35
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Glad to hear that, it was a risk I was happy to take.
  
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  January 23, 2015 at 11:10
Margaret says:

Very nice. I llike the way the dialogue brings them to life.

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January 23, 2015 at 10:03
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Thank you, Margaret. Nice to hear it worked.
  
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  January 23, 2015 at 11:15
patrickprinsloo says:

I guess they hadn’t met before and are unlikely to meet again. No profit for either.

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January 23, 2015 at 16:48
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Maybe there lies their profit?
  
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  January 23, 2015 at 18:31
joseph elon lillie says:

The boatman’s mercy. I wonder what he sees in her and who she will become. Now that would make for an interesting read.

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January 23, 2015 at 16:53
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Yes, it would. Now if only someone got the time and write the story. Thank you.
  
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  January 23, 2015 at 18:33
afairymind says:

Great use of dialogue to tell the story. I look the fresh look at Charon. 🙂

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January 23, 2015 at 20:29
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Thank you!
  
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  January 25, 2015 at 10:43
talesfromthemotherland says:

Sharp clever dialogue and story-telling. I love the humor in the boatman’s mercy. A nicely balanced and well-written story.

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January 24, 2015 at 18:09
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Thank you , Dawn.
  
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  January 24, 2015 at 19:25
Subroto says:

Looks like a few of us saw the same boatman in our offering this week. Interesting way to end it but it works.

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January 26, 2015 at 19:04
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  I suspected there would be few stories with the same subject. Glad you liked it.
  
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  January 26, 2015 at 21:11
Nan Falkner says:

Dear Snow, Good story and dialogue! Nan 🙂

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January 28, 2015 at 04:20
J Hardy Carroll says:

Masterful dialog. Nice work.

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February 18, 2015 at 20:54
- Snow's Fissures and Fractures says:
  
  Thank you.
  
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  February 18, 2015 at 21:01

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