Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wissof-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields
It was always my favorite place, this secluded courtyard.
Quiet little corner where we used to talk for hours…where we used to dance every summer, entertaining our neighbors with our perfect routine and our whimsical relationship.
These days other people dine at our table, sharing stories, laughing… But I never let them go out to the courtyard.
And when they leave, I walk out and dance. Pretending you are here. Ignoring my kind neighbors who silently watch my carefully choreographed therapy.
I spin on my tip toes, forgetting the world, remembering us.
You have painted a vivid picture of a man who has lost his love and the sadness and yearning and possibly guilt that doesn’t let him move on in life. There are many unanswered questions did she die or leave, were they lovers or dance partners or both? I have a vision that he is a ballet dancer. Probably I am wrong on all counts but there is certainly some story left to be told by your poignant last line “one day I’ll admit the truth……just not today.”
What a thoughtful observation, I really appreciate it. I like your vision of a ballet dancer, it adds so much depth to their story. Personally, I envisioned my MC a woman, but I am very happy that it works both ways. They were lovers and they were dancers. As for what happened, one day I’ll admit the truth. 😉
This captures love and loss in crystal and spins it to music for all of us to see and feel and know. We have all been there and all danced alone. Beautiful.
Snow's Fissures and Fractures 
So much unfulfilled yearning in this.. the beautiful way of secrets never revealed. Only in that dance a glimpse of the “us” is seen. Tantalizing.
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Your comment perfectly encompass all my intentions.
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Strangely enough it fits perfectly to the prompt that’s up on dVerse.. Check it out http://dversepoets.com
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This is very interesting, I am looking for a place where I could share my poems.
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I’m part of the staff at dVerse.. there are prompt each Tuesday and Thursday.
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Excellent. I will certainly look into it and try to post something. I am thinking to compose this story as a poem, with just a few tweaks.
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Thank you for recommending this.
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A heart-rending tale of loss. Beautifully done.
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Thank you, Sandra. Much appreciated.
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The song is a beautiful addition to this mysterious romantic story of lost love. “I’ll be looking at the moon but I’ll be seeing you”.
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Glad you liked both the story and the song. Thank you.
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So much yearning and love in your story and it’s so ethereal. Lovely.
janet
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Thank you, Janet. I was in the mood for something ethereal.
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Such sad musing, darling.
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Thank you for stopping by.
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Beautifully written as always.
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Thank you so much.
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There are some beautiful lines in this: ‘my carefully choreographed therapy’ and the very last one. Lovely.
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Thank you, Claire. Much appreciated.
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Sweet…
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Thank you.
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Oh, this is wonderful!!!
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Thank you!
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I loved it, especially the ending. Personally, I think she killed him. 😀
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Oh my, what a thought. You made me laugh, thank you.
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Apparently that wasn’t what was in the mind of the writer. 😀 It was the thing she thought about at the end that gave me that impresssion. Haha!
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That’s a sad story of such loss. I like that the narrator keeps the courtyard as their special place.
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Their little secret world. Thank you.
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I like the narrator’s rational irrationality. And Billie Holiday!
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I like that “rational irrationality”. Thank you.
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Dear Loré,
A beautifully told story with a last line that made my heart ache. And then Billie Holiday for dessert. Perfect touch.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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There are some truths that are hardest to admit to ourselves.
Thank you so much, Rochelle. I trully appreciate your kindness.
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You have painted a vivid picture of a man who has lost his love and the sadness and yearning and possibly guilt that doesn’t let him move on in life. There are many unanswered questions did she die or leave, were they lovers or dance partners or both? I have a vision that he is a ballet dancer. Probably I am wrong on all counts but there is certainly some story left to be told by your poignant last line “one day I’ll admit the truth……just not today.”
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What a thoughtful observation, I really appreciate it. I like your vision of a ballet dancer, it adds so much depth to their story. Personally, I envisioned my MC a woman, but I am very happy that it works both ways. They were lovers and they were dancers. As for what happened, one day I’ll admit the truth. 😉
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Such loneliness and longing in the image of a lone dancer, after everyone else has gone. I love how you’ve captured the feelings here.
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Thank you, I was really inspired this week. I just realized my MC in my latest short story is named Margaret. 🙂
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That’s nice. I hope she has a happy ending.
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Dear Lore,
This captures love and loss in crystal and spins it to music for all of us to see and feel and know. We have all been there and all danced alone. Beautiful.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thank you, Doug. I think one needs to learn how to dance alone, because one never knows what life has in store.
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Doug seems to say it a lot better than I can. Bravo.
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Thank you.
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What a lovely story, well written and chocked full of emotion. And I love Billie Holiday!!
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Thank you, Rachel. I adore Billie Holiday, sometimes I think the world forgot about her.
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That last line is so sweet yet heartbreaking. Beautiful story.
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Thank you.
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