Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wissof-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Frozen in mid-step, I am lost in the crowd. Is this love? anxious thoughts overwhelm my already feeble mind.
“You are free to choose.” he said to me.
I know he will hurt me. But without his touch I will disappear.
“Do you fear the pain?”
“Not the physical one.”
My whipped back still tingles from our last encounter, marked by his deceptively gentle hands. Is it wrong to crave this pain that makes me feel alive?
“I want to break you.”
Oh, my love, you already have, I think to myself as I take my next step.
Dear Loré,
Now there’s a rather twisted relationship going on here. I’d say you need an ‘s’ on the end of ‘tingle’. Perhaps the video should be “Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places.” 😉
Well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you for noticing that typo. I always say, To each its own.
Love is hard
Love is sometimes pain
But without love
Life wouldn’t be the same
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Very good.
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Thank you.
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You managed to make S & M sound almost er… acceptable? Well done.
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Thank you, Sandra. Sometimes we walk the fine line. Other times we crash and burn.
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Dear Lore,
Some will react to this story as they think others will think they ought to. Others will hide their true thoughts, because they are too close to your story in more ways than one. Me? I think it is spot on and very well written. Kudos for putting it out there and for doing it so well.
Aloha,
Doug
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I don’t mind how people react, as long as they react. Thank you for recognizing this story is not just about physical pain.
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Gee whiz, there’s a lot of weird people walking around Hollywood, huh? Made me feel creeped out. I’m wide awake now, too. 😀
Good story told to good effect. Congrats, Loré!
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That’s what I call a wake-up call. Thank you!
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I know a good therapist. 😦 There’s certainly more than physical pain in the world and when one or more of those pains are welded with physical pain, it must be a heavy burden, one many are unwilling to share a/o sometimes even give up.
janet
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Physical pain is just a manifestation of a much deeper pain that dwells in the corners of troubled minds. Thank you for your comment.
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I can feel the pain in your character. This is a touching story mixed with angst. Well done!
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Thank you, Lisa. It is not a familiar subject, so it was interesting to see how it will turn out.
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There are reasons that I never can understand to do this… (much more than her staying)
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I must say that this is far removed from my nature. There is not one submisive bone in my body and the thought that someone would willingly allow another to use and abuse their body and mind is almost unexceptable. That is why I wanted to write about it, to see how far can I explore it in just few words. Hence the questions: Is this love? Is it wrong? And the vagueness of the story – is she/he leaving or returning? How woud a reader react if those last words were “as I take a step back”?
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Beautifully written.
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Thank you, that is always such a nice compliment to hear.
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powerful Lore. The despair of the wounded psyche.
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Exactly the emotion I was going for… frozen in a moment, where to go when the game was lost even before it began. Thank you, Cybele, I really appreciate your insight.
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“Her” story is very well told. I think many people need some sort of abuse to feel loved and wanted and it makes me wonder what kind of childhood they had or what nature they were born with.
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We never know what or who is hidding in the crowd. That was my inspiation from this week’s photo.
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That’s a bit bit creepy – not the sort of relationship I would crave but each to his own. Well written!
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Thank you!
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50 Shades of Provocative! I love a story where readers start measuring them selves against the moral code of a character. That means more than a simple compliment to me and I hope to you! Well done.
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Yes, I find it very rewarding when my story make people think a little bit deeper. Thank you so much.
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Lore,
I especially like “deceptively gentle hand.” Your story this week reminds me of an old song from Paul Kelly (the Australian pop artist). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNoINHdM5WA
Nothing is ever as simple as it seems.
Marie Gail
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Thank you so much. As I said it before, it is very rewarding when your story push people to think and state their opinions, even if it makes them a little bit uncomfortable. It was never my intention, but somehow this 100 words journey turned into a study of human characters and emotions, with events and actions serving as a frame. Strange things happen when you cast away the shackles of conventional thinking.
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Complicated relationship here. I hope they find happiness or something close to it in this. We all deserve it.
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Well, I don’t think there will be much happiness in this relationship. The question is how long it will take them to move on. And I couldn’t agree more, we all deserve it. But too often we don’t recognize what that really means. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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Yes a powerful story. Confusion? ..and broken-ness.
You write so well.
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Thank you, Robyn, that is a lovely thing to say. As for the story, I was wondering what would I do in a situation like that. But I just can’t imagine it, it is very hard to try walking in other people’s shoes. Very challenging. It is an excercise of understanding vs. judging.
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I like the way you think Lore.. I cant imagine either, but it is so important not to make judgements.
You are very wise 😊
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Don’t know about that part “very wise”. 😀 But thank you.
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I like your title. It shows her neediness and confusion. I like how you’ve shown her dependency on the continuation of pain – it seems to have been so much a part of her life that it’s become part of her self-image. Perhaps without it she wouldn’t know who she was. Very evocative story-telling.
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Thank you, Margaret. I think most of us tend to bound ourselves to people and things, imprisoning ourselves, forgeting we should not be so dependant. It is a long journey of soulsearching with no destination in sight.
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Loved it, well done !! v
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Thank you so much!
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