Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wissof-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – The Reclining Gentleman
I don’t know what went wrong, my dear.
I remember you standing there in a pale yellow dress, waiting patiently while I presented my greatest trick to the audience. As you vanished in a cloud of smoke, the last thing I saw was you blowing me the kiss. And then the time for The Prestige* came, but you were gone.
I can forgive you ruining my career…but did you have to break my heart?
These days the birds are the only companions to my jaded soul. How sad that the applause is replaced with the flapping of the wings…
*Each magician’s trick has three parts; The Pledge, where the audience is presented with an ordinary object; The Turn, where the object is turned into something extraordinary; and The Prestige, where the object is brought back.
Inspiration is a dangerous beast, lurking from the shadows, waiting a perfect moment to jump on your back and drag you into unknown. It dragged me far away this week and I barely managed to tie it back by a bird’s feather.
Snow's Fissures and Fractures 
Dear Lore,
Did you mean ‘career’ instead of carrier? If so, feel free to edit this comment after you edit your story.
I thought this a very good take on the prompt. Loved the use of The Prestige and completely lost myself in your magic.
Aloha,
Doug
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I am so glad you liked it, I wrote a magician’s story tied to that island in the middle of the lake, didn’t like it, started again and completely forgot about the photo. 🙂
Thank you for your lovely words and especially for that correction.
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Dear Loré,
Magical tale. Full of pathos. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle.
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Loré, this is the lowest form of deceit of a magician I feel.. not only ruining a love-life, but the trick as well..
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Double trouble…can’t imagine how it would feel to stand in front of the audience, failing spectacularly.
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I enjoyed this. Well done.
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Thank you, that means a lot.
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Charming little tale. Personally I reckon it would look better split into two or three paragraphs. I’m a sucker for well laid out prose.
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I completely agree. Have no idea why I cramped it all in one paragraph. Usually I take time to visualise the layout. Thank you so much for your observation.
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Nae probs 🙂
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i like the ending
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That is great, thank you. The first and the last lines are very important to me, they set the tone of the story.
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Lore, so many types of magic in your story and such heartbreak. I agree with Paul about the breaks. If you just put in an empty line at the end of each section, I think it would read better as the pauses and breaks would be built in.
janet
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Oh my, I already changed it after I read Paul’s comment. 😀 It was just one long paragraph, have no idea why. If I add empty lines, I am afraid someone will comment that I need to add chapter titles. 😛 Just kidding, I appreciate constructive criticism.
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I like the details about the yellow dress and the kiss. They make her seem so very real and present, and then poof! she’s not. Great trick. Lovely alluring story.
Marg
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Thank you, Marg. I often find the beauty of storytelling in little details.
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Clever of her to disappear as part of the act. I can imagine her stashing her runaway bag under the stage next to the trap door in readiness. Cool story!
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That’s how I imagined it, but ran out of words. Thank you!
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A magician’s revenge in a puff of smoke – but then there’s the emptiness. Entertaining read!
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Thank you!
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What a great exit!
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In style! Tnx.
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Where has she gone? I would love to read more.
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Knowing how my mind works, she was probaby transported to another version of our universe, where magicians are ordinary and ordinary people are magical. 🙂 Thank you for showing your interest for my writing.
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We are all magical 🙂
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Lore,
I appreciate your reference to the prestige. The movie by that name is a guilty pleasure of mine and one of my all-time favorites. Your story provides a unique spin on both the prompt and the tricks of a magician–who, this time, is tricked by another. Well done.
Marie Gail
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Thank you so much, I am glad you liked it. I had that exact movie on my mind while I was writing this story.
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Ooh, I love the idea of the applause being replaced by the flapping of wings, and the way you expressed it. Beautiful, Lore.
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Thank you, Karen. I managed to tie the story to the photo in that last line.
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great story and I didn’t know those three magician parts!! I’m glad inspiration jumps on you!!! “applause replaced by flapping wings! ” Love that!
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I stumbled upon that info while reading about the movie The Prestige, always happy to learn something new. Applause replaced by flapping wings – that part turned out pretty good. 🙂 I am overwhelmed by the amount of positive feedback. Thank you.
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Lore, It was not only a good story, but I learned about the parts of a magician’s act. That was a creative way for her to leave. Well written. 🙂 — Susan
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Thank you, Susan. It is a pleasure to share some new knowledge.
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Magical and mysterious, and a real pleasure to read.
And I’ve always loved that track by U2!
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Thank you, Joanna. Glad you liked both the story and the song.
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The heartbroken magician – love it. Nicely done.
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Thank you, it’s a cruel twist of fate, for a magican to be outsmarted.
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Dear Lore, Wonderful and magical story! It is sad too and the magician was duped. Nan 🙂
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Thank you, Nan. It means a lot that you return to my world of words week after week.
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A disappearing act to end all disappearing acts. Good for her. I imagine she didn’t go out this way for no reason.
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Considering her efforts, there’s probably a good reason. Tnx for stopping by.
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