Worlds Between

Sometimes you are unprepared for a sudden burst of inspiration and you dive into a pool of sadness, that you avoided for a long time. Today I read a post that reminded me of a friend  I lost 17 years ago. It was a terrible loss that left me with too many unspoken words. It’s hard to understand when someone takes his life, but it’s even harder to accept that it was nothing you could do. Still, I miss him dearly…

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When I look back
Before all this
I often wonder
What did I miss

Did you ever think
I could save you
In the end
Did I betray you

With every memory
Heart skips a beat
How can I ever
Get used to it

It’s been too long
Since we last spoke
Who knew it would cut deep
Your last stupid joke

My lost little boy
With your smile so blue
I’ll do what you couldn’t
I’ll forgive you

I am under that same cloud
Where our smiles used to be
Regretting unspoken words
Wondering who will forgive me

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2 thoughts on “Worlds Between

  1. Thank you Snow for writing this. It’s poignant and beautiful and profound. Thanks for your words on my post too. I understand totally – and the forgiveness things. Sometimes I am still angry. My brother had a smile that just melted you!! I so miss it!!

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    • In a sense, I wrote this for you, too. Your post touched me and brought back memories of a life that once was. I am so, so sorry for your brother, for all the memories that are and for ones that never came to be. Losing loved one is painful enough, even without the added burden of regret. I know people say life goes on and time heals, but sometimes it feels like you’ve been hit by a freight train. And I think it’s ok to be angry. When we love, we earn the right to be angry.

      Like

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