Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wissof-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….
Copyright – Adam Ickes
The summer she left him, the planets were in a perfect alignment.
“I don’t love you anymore.” she threw at him offhandedly, dragging her suitcase across the living room.
27th wedding anniversary in few days, he is sitting in the corner of the room, surrounded by boxes containing fragments of his life.
“Breathe. Just breathe.”, he murmurs to himself, opening the first box.
Too old to start anew, too young to give up, trying to keep precarious emotions in check, his fragile fingers skim over shared memories.
Reeling with an emotion far greater than devastation, he breaks down and cries.
“Are you still in love with me
Like the way you used to be or is it changing?
Does it deepen over time like the river
That is winding through the Canyon?”
Snow's Fissures and Fractures 
Dear Loré,
“…fingers skim over shared memories.” Nice. A sad one.
I think you mean breaks down and cries, rather than cry.
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS Love the song.
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Thank you, as always. 🙂
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Very sad. I liked the line about the planets in alignment – just sufficiently off-beat to capture the interest from the outset.
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Thank you, Sandra. I just love starting that way, off-beat. 🙂
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This was sad and poignant and heartbreaking. AS good as a short story can get. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thank you so much, Doug. It seems I am good with sad stories.
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You definitely captured the heartbreak and defeat of this situation. Been there, cried those tears.
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I think many of us cried those tears. Thank you.
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That was sufficient enough to make me feel heart broken for the poor guy…27 years is no joke. And here I thought love was all in all, apparently contentment is stronger. Nice one.
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Imagine the heartbreak after so many years, when you think you are safe. Thank you.
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So much heartbreak for him, after her offhand dismissal
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People we love most can hurt us most, because they hold our heart in the palm of their hand. Thank you for reading my stories week after week, much appreciated.
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My goodness, I could just feel the heartache and desperation of this poor soul’s suffering. You did an amazing job at capturing the pain and painting it down the page. Poignant.
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Thank you, what a wonderful compliment!
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trying to keep precarious emotions in check Love this line
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Thank you so much.
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The absolute perfect first line. I loved it. And the tender emotion of the whole piece was just lovely.
Claire
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I am glad you liked that first line, Claire. Thank you for your kind words.
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I loved the irony of the planets being in perfect alignment, too, Lore. Certainly not in perfect alignment for him. Very sad story.
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Thank you, Karen. Life is full of irony, mostly born out of our expectations.
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A heartbreaking well written piece, Lore. I like the song, too.
Ellespeth
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Thank you. I love Ray’s songs.
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Like for so many others – it touched an old chord ! “Too old to start anew, too young to give up” – so much familiar yet so well captured !
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Despite our differences, in the end we are all the same. We hurt and we bleed. Thank you.
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Time to cry. Definitely. A poignant piece of writing.
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Thank you.
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Dear Lore,
I’m glad to see that some writers chose to focus on the boxes in the photo prompt this week. They have many stories to tell.
All my best,
Marie Gail
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I try to step away from the obvious, this time it was easy. Thank you.
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I like that idea. It adds variety to the stories.
Cheers!
MG
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How quickly life can change! Very eloquent and sad.
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Yes, it can change in a blink of an eye. Thank you.
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Sad tale of love lost. I’m wondering what this emotion is that is greater than devastation.
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I think something more permament, loss of faith in yourself. I always felt that devastation was a powerful short term emotion, but many times a slow longlasting fire burns us much more.
Thank you so much for taking time to read and comment.
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Sad, moving story. You made the character’s emotions tangible.
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Thank you, I appreciate your feedback.
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I really like the atmosphere you conjure with this piece – a kind of hushed tension, which only gets resolved when he finally cries.
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As I said many times before, sometimes the quiet moments speak volumes. Thank you.
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Dear Snow, Well thought out and penned! I enjoyed it a lot! Thanks, Nan 🙂
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Nan, thank you for your kind words.
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So much poignancy. So many years in so few words. Wrung my heart 😦
Shailaja/The Moving Quill
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Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for our world to crumble to dust. Thank you.
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Very sad. I like the idea of “too old to start anew, too young to give up.” Sounds a bit like the way I feel sometimes!
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I suspect most of us feel that way. Thank you!
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