Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wissof-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, here we go….
Copyright -B. W. Beacham
– Are we there yet?
– Almost there…I can see the masts ahead.
– God, I am so tired…I’ll just sit here for a minute.
– I can hear the dogs, we need to move. They’re catching up.
– Promise me something.
– Anything.
– You won’t add me to your burden of guilt.
– Don’t …please. We need to get to the boat, you are losing too much blood.
– Listen to me, this is where I make my last stand. Remember your promise.
– How can I leave you behind?
– Easy…just don’t turn around.
– I am sorry.
– I know. Run!
I don’t know if this story will reach anyone out there, but Springsteen’s music was the first thing that came to my mind after I saw this week’s photo and then this dialog just poured out….Cause, when the going gets tough, what else can you do except roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair…
Such nice, terse dialogue! Fabulous little vignette.
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Thank you so much, I was very doubtful about this one.
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Savršeno, ovo si baš pogodila.
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Hvala, amigice. Kisikisi!!!!
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Great tension, with a feeling of release for both of them at the end
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I was going for that tension, glad it reached out.
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Hey, Springsteen’s good for inspiration, too! In fact, I see it paid off for you. Good story!
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Yes, he is. Thank you.
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Dear Loré,
Sharp dialogue. Well done. There’s a lot of story between the lines.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you very much!
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Really compelling dialogue. Well written, tight and interesting. It leaves me wanting more…
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I was all over the place with this one, there was a bigger story that I had to put in 100 words. This one was hard work. Thank you for your kind words.
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Good tense story with a very well executed ending. Thanks!
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Hi! Sad and sombre and very well put. You did a great job 🙂
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Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed it.
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I am so happy you liked it, thank you.
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Good story and the music fit perfectly. Good tension and dialogue. 🙂
Susan
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Springsteen has that raw emotion that resonates within. Thank you for always reading and commenting.
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A real hero. Making the sacrifice.
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I think they both made the sacrifice. Can’t imagine living with such a burden. Thank you for always checking my stories.
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Really well done, both in dialogue and building tension that has to end with sacrifice. I like it a lot.
janet
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To think I was so doubtful to post this one…thank you!
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Wonderful story created from 100% dialogue. Nicely done.
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Thank you, I try to do something different every week.
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Concise and effective – nicely done.
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Thank you.
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I really love how you create that story with just a dialogue.. I do not care who are the villain here.. it’s the caring and the letting go that’s important… well done
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Thank you, I was trying to do just that.
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This was so fast-paced and intense! What a terrible predicament that requires courage on both of their parts. I find it so intriguing, I can’t help but wondering what the backstory is. Though, none is needed, since this is a very strong sequence that can stand on its own!
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My intention was for every reader to imagine the backstory. It could go in so many different directions, escaped prisoners, siblings on a run from their slavemaster, fugitives in a post-apocalyptic near future…Thank you for your wonderful words.
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